Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer from…
Albert Einstein
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle
To actualise its potential.
B.F. Skinner
Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Buddha
If you meet the chicken on the road, kill it.
Carl Jung
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Charles Darwin
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
David Hume
Out of custom and habit.
Douglas Adams
Forty-two.
Emily Dickinson
Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus
For fun.
Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain.
Henry David Thoreau
To live deliberately… and suck all the marrow out of life.
Hippocrates
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
Jack Nicholson
Cause it [censored] wanted to. That’s the [censored] reason.
Jacques Derrida
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Jean-Paul Sartre
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
J.W. von Goethe
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and “road”, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualisation of this potential occurrence.
Machiavelli
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained.
Mark Twain
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Because if you gaze too long across the road, the road gazes also across you.
Plato
For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic
What road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.
Salvador Dali
The Fish.
The Sphinx
You tell me.
Thomas de Torquemada
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.
Timothy Leary
Because that’s the only kind of trip the establishment would let it take.
Werner Heisenberg
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Zeno of Elea
To prove it could never reach the other side.